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WTF! 8 Unspoken Ghetto Ratchet Trends among Some Black Women… Especially In the Hood

I get in my car and drive all around the city, seeing some of the craziest and bizarre things you can imagine. Sometimes I’m in the Southside or Northside of Richmond, and other times I’m in either the Fan/Downtown or the Westend. Either way I turn, there is always these offenders of fashion and straight up common sense, that either need someone to look up to or a swift ass kicking. Often times I don’t even have to go far from my laptop, to feel disgraced. There are people flooding my timeline with their cavalier trashiness, so it’s enough to log off completely. What is going on with the world? Have we given up on common decency and self-respect? Has the age of YOLO (You Only Live Once) really instilled “F*ck everything and kill yourself and your image” into the minds of various generations? I mean… damn! I don’t even talk to my neighbors, I’m ashamed to spend money on my side of town because I’m afraid I’m contributing to the bullshit, and I can’t wipe the “stank face” off as my facial expression until I cross some type of bridge. It’s ratchet… no other description necessary. If you’re having a hard time understanding what I’m referring to, look below. If you or anyone you know, fits into any of these descriptions… I’m sorry…. I’m talking about you.

1. Pajamas and Hair Scarves Everywhere

I’ve been complaining about this since my days as a Social Worker for Social Services. There are clans of people coming into business establishments wearing their nighttime sleepwear. WTF! Why couldn’t you have rolled out of bed, took a shower (washed your face & brushed your teeth), then thrown on a pair of sweats/yoga pants/jeans and a t-shirt vs. coming out with your dingy pajamas and slippers on? Why is it so hard to get out of your pajamas? Especially when it’s after noon and you still haven’t gotten the intentional fortitude to get dressed. That’s just lazy. Some chicks (that’s my way of not calling you out your name) come out with an $80 hairweave all wrapped up in dirty hair scarves, pajamas and slippers on, and seriously having the audacity to expect some form of respect when they go out to handle their “business” during the day… why? You obviously didn’t respect yourself enough to get dressed for your (busy) day, nor did you apply any effort in how you were perceived walking out the door.

I encourage any woman in her right mind to take these individuals to the side and instill some knowledge into them. If you have been mobile with these offenders, you are as much responsible as they are. Say, “Girl! Get Dressed, I’ll Wait.” Then don’t leave the parking lot or front yard until they do. By not tolerating this from friends and family, maybe we can one day abolish this nonsense.

2. Are You Busting Out Your Clothes? Can You Even Breathe?

As a plus size woman myself, I’m quite familiar with the slight envy a person may have about certain fashion trends that you want to take part in but can’t. I know first hand how hard it is, to see something you love, but knowing deep inside they don’t make it in your size. That fact alone, does not give us thick and voluptuous human beings the right to squeeze into anything that is not physically made to withstand our God-given curves. You look thirsty. You look stupid. You look desperate for some attention. Modern technology has afforded us a wealth of options that can slenderize our appearance within moderation (i.e., Spanx, girdles, and damn exercise regiment perhaps). However, stuffing our flesh into clothes too small, and letting whatever hangs out… just hang out, makes everyone nauseous and afraid of yeast infection around you. The world doesn’t hate big girls, as many would believe. The world just hates big girls who don’t embrace the fact that they are big, too caught up in thinking they can measure up to a few video vixens and not staying in their lane. Being half-naked doesn’t make your fat more appealing, it just makes it more visible. Stop it! Save the nakedness for a self-appreciation photo shoot or a nude beach, and keep it out the nightclubs and off the bus stops, thank you.

3. Weaves, Wigs & Lacefronts… Some of You Don’t Know What They Hell You’re Doing

I used to love a good weave and a decent lacefront, believe me when I tell you. I would go out of my way and shop online all day for the perfect hairpiece to free me from having to play in my natural hair every single day. I admit I was being lazy and I wasn’t completely committed to the idea of wearing my natural hair, so far be it from me to judge anyone else. However, there is an epidemic of ratchetness among us, no one is addressing. Women and young girls everywhere choosing to put cheap plastic strands in their hair, wearing ill-fitted wigs and lacefronts in the summer time, and not properly having them applied, it’s all so obvious. Hair professionals everywhere should be pulling these potential clients to the side and recommending some appropriate alternatives to help a sister look good.

I advocate for natural hair now, choosing to wear my TWA (teeny weenie afro) versus subjecting myself to another wig or lacefront, but that’s just me. When I see young girls wearing them, and wearing them wrong, I feel obligated to let them know how dumb they look. You cannot pull it into a ponytail without it being secure on the edges. If it’s nappy on the ends, people do notice. Why anyone would sell you a wig or lacefront is beyond me, but that’s a customer service issue. I just ask that we set a good example for each other. When you have a friend wearing her hairpiece in a way that doesn’t compliment her, why not inform and educate her? Why let the chick walk around looking crazy? If a man notices that your hair game is off, do you really believe that your friends didn’t think so as well? It’s just a matter of wearing what compliments you and not what you think is trendy or hot right now. Believe me lacefronts are no longer trendy. Death to lacefronts!

4. Smoked Out In Front Of The Kids

I sat in the parking lot of the barbershop waiting for my husband to come out. I smelled a familiar aroma coming from the car next to me. I looked to my left and noticed two women in a Buick smoking on what smelled and appeared to be some “sticky icky” (LOL), I just wanted to say that. They were smoking marijuana. Nothing new around these parts, I guess, except in the back seat was a little baby girl unbuckled standing up playing. I was so upset at the site of this that I immediately got out of the car and walked away, not wanting to be in the vicinity any longer. Of course, I took to Twitter and Facebook with my rant, hoping that someone could shed light on this ratchetness. Many people agreed that it was foolish ghetto behavior and the culprits should have been jailed. They even drove off as we were leaving, parallel to our car just driving and puffing away like everything was cool and we lived in Amsterdam. Trash! Outside I was fuming and praying they got home safely with the child, but inside I rather wanted those chicks locked up and taught a lesson.

Why smoke in front of your kids? Why pull out whatever it is that eases your nerves and light up in front of the seeds you raised and brought into this world? We wonder why kids act up and behave badly, never thinking that some of their behavior is a reflection of what they see from us. People that smoke in front of their kids should be shot… period. You’re in the car (close proximity) and you don’t once think that maybe this is getting into my child? God forbid anyone gives your child a cigarette or bag of weed; you would go off and want them killed. Nevertheless, you spark your ish in their face and want someone to give you flowers on mothers/fathers day, get the f*ck out of town! I don’t get it, and probably never will. However, believe me when I say, you can’t care about their health if you do some mess like that, you just can’t.

5. My Name Isn’t Bitch and You Are Not My Friend

I have a problem with cursing, like anyone with passion and the balls to say what they feel. I have to catch myself often, especially when I’m around certain people, because unlike some… I think about the feelings of others. Nowadays, I wouldn’t want anyone to be uncomfortable because of my language (I never used to give a… well you know), so I use my education and extensive vocabulary to convey my feelings like modern ordinary individuals. However, you have those bad apples that can’t help but to say some of the dirtiest words anywhere they please, even in public places, places of business, or sometimes in front of their children. No judgment, it’s just an observation.

What makes me mad is the females that claim to be your friend and love you, but call you “Bitch” in every other sentence. What is your problem? Are you mad? How would I know if you’re mad at me, if you call me “Bitch” all the time? It’s just too much. “Bitch, you crazy”“, “You’re a stupid Bitch!”, “I’m a real Bitch!”, and the funniest “They better show this Bitch some respect!” WTF! Are you serious?

I can’t roll with you if that’s how you conduct yourself. You sound drunk. I think it’s perfectly fine, to correct someone (especially a new friend) and let them know that you will not tolerate that nonsense. An off-color joke every now and then is not a problem, but if you answer your phone right before church with a “What’s up Bitch!” I’m ending the friendship.

6. Is The Nightclub More Important Than Everything Is?

We talk about current events and you’re not interested. We discuss the fate of the city and try to get residence together for a cause or higher purpose, but you decline and sleep half the day away. We offer family friendly events for you to enjoy, but if there is no liquor, you’re not coming out. What is wrong with people? The Club has taken all your interest. I see events that say about 50 people will attend when it’s about a charity or cause, its non-hip hop related, or is more subtle and professional. However “Twerk Something Tuesdays” and “Bootie Shorts and Stiletto Saturdays” has 90% of my followers in attendance.

Chicks rather get half-naked and drunk than to sit through a poetry reading, a book signing, a play or showcase, or a networking event. They will leave their kids at home by themselves, to follow the latest “baller” somewhere and use their government assistance checks to buy everything they need to get there. It’s craziness. You sitting at home all Saturday in your pajamas, leave out late afternoon to shop at Rainbow to find an outfit, just to be wasted in the club with your beer belly out. Stop It!

There are other options in nightlife than the nightclub. If you really looking for a man, that should be the last place you look… dummy. You want substance, than you have to go where substance is. Any man trying to get at you in the club is hoping you are too drunk to realize that he just wants to get in those drawers (or lack there of, since some of you don’t wear any). Stop allowing the club to be the go-to destination every single weekend. That lifestyle will only dry you out and make you old quicker. I know some of you think that being young means you are supposed to be there all the time, but that is not true. Save yourself, your wallet and your dignity and find more quality things to do with the girls.

7. What Are You Reading On?

Gossip Magazines and Blogs, Hood Stories and Literature, Fashion and Hair Magazines… you name it, we all have our preferences. Nevertheless, a good advice column, self-help or self-improvement book, an article about family, health, current events, relationships, cooking, hobbies, etc. could all be great additions to your reading list as well. Rather than tuning in immediately at 8pm for the latest episode of “Housewives and Ex-Girlfriends” why not catch that later and read about new ways to introduce romance into your relationship, or better alternatives to talking to your children about sex and drugs, or maybe even how to start a business.

It’s important to me as an individual, that I not always get my information funneled to me through my timeline and the grapevine, but through my own research. It’s too many females who do not know how to read an application and complete it, but they can talk about everything on reality television. We have to do better. Education doesn’t always have to be paid for and given to you through the form of a degree these days. There are plenty of capable, intelligent people, who are self-taught through their own efforts. Nowadays, there is no excuse for not knowing about yourself and the world around you.

It’s a shame more of us aren’t taking it upon ourselves to forgo the latest gossip book and show, and reading about our passions and future ambitions. We would be a lot further.

8. I Don’t Like Her… But Guess What She Said On Facebook!

This final one always intrigued me. It seems every hood chick in the world uses social media to follow her enemies, stalk them, and then report on their online behavior. They spend all day sending cryptic messages about how that particular person “Really doesn’t want none” and “people better start saying what’s on their minds”, but you never know to whom she is referring to. From song lyrics out of nowhere, to apparent arguments with their baby daddy’s, it seems like our timelines are filled with misspelled rants of a ghetto “These Are Our Lives”.

Explain to me how someone can go from gospel videos and bible quotes Monday Thru Thursday, but then on Friday pictures of liquor and rants about “he ain’t hitting it right”. I mean… c’mon! Where do they do that? Social media is about sharing information and connecting with people, not just posting your baby to get likes, and then everything else is pictures of you in a seedy ass nightclub with a bodycon dress on. If you don’t like someone then unfollow them, stop following people just to know what’s going in their lives. It’s pathetic. How can you in your right mind feel comfortable talking about people that you choose to connect to online, you look foolish. When someone says they don’t like someone or can’t stand someone, nowadays to check the validity of what their saying, I check to see with whom they are friends with online. Most of the time they are connected to that individual online. They are just waiting and watching for their next move. If you stop dealing with me and don’t like me, I employ you to please stop following me… it’s only going to make you mad.

I know that if you’re reading this, you’re probably not the offenders that I’m referring to (if you are than you should be quite inspired to change). However, I think that by being motivators, inspirers, and pillars in our community, we have a moral obligation to touch as many lives as we can… as much as we can. If you know someone like this, give him or her a helpful word of encouragement or a smack in the back of the head, whatever works. Let’s just make a difference… one ratchet ass person at a time.

Follow me on Twitter @GaptoothDiva https://www.twitter.com/GaptoothDiva

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About I'esha GaptoothDiva (534 Articles)
Media Personality, Writer, Plus Size Model & Thrift/Vintage Aficionado - I'esha GaptoothDiva is the Baddest Creative Motivation. Inspiring people through raw and motivational testimonies from her own life experiences and the journey's of others, she aims to empower supporters to live their best life and accept their talents and flaws. With no fear and lots of confidence, she takes on the world of fashion, music, culture, and lifestyle. Follow her on www.Twitter.com/GaptoothDiva for the latest and check out her official website http://www.GaptoothDiva.com

17 Comments on WTF! 8 Unspoken Ghetto Ratchet Trends among Some Black Women… Especially In the Hood

  1. I love this article minus number four. I understand that it may seem truely negetive, because of the media demonizing marijuana, but honestly diva, the word could have been switched to a drug that killed MASSIVE amnt of ppl, Alchohol…

    Marijuana has not killed ONE!

    Alchohol claims lives on a daily basis… Or shall we bring up another ratchett ass thing our folk do on tha low… Smokin Ports around tha kids.. or while pregnant which i have seen in abundance in Hillside, and Fairfield….

    Now of course the post gave me a chuckle, but its hard not to be slightly preturbed when i see more demonizing by the media…. I dont expect for media to do research before speach…. But should i???

    Like

    • I’m curious, how accurate is it that marijuana has not killed anyone? Or is it that there simply are no “reported” instances of death by marijuana use? The results of marijuana abuse are very telling, however, especially in communities densely populated by people of color. I’m certain many individuals can attest to the deterioration of the individual in their personal and professional lives once the abuse has taken place. The erosion of the frontal lobe of the brain is not a concern to take lightly, nor is the peripheral damage the marijuana user’s immediate peer group and neighbors must face.

      Like

    • Thanks for checking this out. I don’t intend on demonizing weed at all, it’s nothing wrong with smoking in my book (especially when your bills are paid, kids are taken care of, and you live an upstanding life). However, smoking while in front of your kids or in the car with your kids… A BIG hell Naw in my book. Second hand smoke does exist, and I wouldn’t roll up and just pass it to my son. That’s ratchet. I agree about the alchohol as well, but I see more people puffing on ciggs and blunts in the presence of their seeds than downing a bottle. And the “while pregnant” situation… those chicks are seriously disgusting! LOL. Thanks again for reading.

      Like

  2. You made a strong case in the article and I agree. Too many sisters have these negative, damning behaviors and it casts a dark shadow over the remainder. Stopping for a moment to observe ourselves would help us make more informed choices regarding our appearance and the ramifications of our choices.

    Being a woman implies being mature, yet these actions are anything but. My wife and I are training our daughter to be a woman of character so she doesn’t choose any of these 8 trends.

    Like

    • I’m so happy to hear that you are raising your daughter to be mindful of her image and how it will reflects on her, her family, and her offspring. I think if more people thought beyond the moment, these so-called trends wouldn’t exist. It’s a shame how prevalent this is in our community that I felt compelled to write this. I’m just from an age where you had to be informed you were doing wrong to rectify your mistakes. These days people don’t think they are affected, when down the line they really are. Thanks so much for reading, I appreciate it.

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      • My pleasure (sorry for the late response).

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  3. Great article! I can’t believe you actually saw someone smoking weed in a car, with a child!!!!!!! That’s beyond rachet… I wouldn’t have been able to contain myself.. OMG

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    • I live in New York City and see that all the time. I saw a lady feeding her baby Chinese food and orange soda. Talk about ratchet!

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      • A baby? Rot their teeth before they even grow in. I’m weak!

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    • It’s so hard. If I tried to approach every person that was in ratchet violation, I would be dead or locked up. How can we change them without provoking them? That is the question. I can only hope that people discuss it more, hopefully inspiring someone to make a difference.

      Like

  4. GOOD READ :-)………

    Like

    • Thanks so much for checking it out. :-)

      Like

  5. toomanygrandkids // June 26, 2013 at 7:17 pm // Reply

    Weaves, wigs, and lacefronts have become an epidemic for which there is a cure: grow your own hair by taking care of it. There’s an overwheming abundance of females who’ll spend their last dollar on a fake hair or a trip to the hair salon. She’ll feed her children oodles of noodles and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches just to wear a weave or extensions. Females tell me all the time that they’ll go hungry just to get their hair done. They assume all of this fake hair makes ‘em look good. What it REALLY does is make the Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans rich b/c those are the ppl who own the stores where black females buy their hair. So the rumor that poor females don’t have any money must be a lie. Black hairdressers are doing a number on black females as well. They charge an two arms and a leg for weaves, extensions, and the like. They are also knowingly damaging their customers hair. That’s why many black women are bald-headed.

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  6. toomanygrandkids // June 26, 2013 at 7:31 pm // Reply

    I’m really surprised that ppl still smoke weed b/c lots of folks have been into crack. They’ll huff and puff that mess in the presence of children. Doing any kind of drugs in front of children is disgusting. There should be a law where I’m allowed to whoop their butts without getting a fine and/or going to jail.

    Like

  7. toomanygrandkids // June 27, 2013 at 12:04 am // Reply

    No. 5 has gotten worser. Now I actually hear couples calling each otherni**ers and bitches during an ordinary conversation. There’s no arguing goin’ on, no hollering, and no screaming. And it doesn’t matter who the couples are–straight, lesbians, and gays. Seems wierd (like the twilight zone) watching/listening speak disrespectful in a cheerful and happy manner.

    BTW, Hello. I just stumbled upon your blog earlier today. Very interesting.

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  8. I ♥ this!!! Everything was on point

    Like

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